ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i love accidental penises.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
