ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
