i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
