I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
where does the pee come out of this thing
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
