his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
