He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
