there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
