Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize