Kiss
Puke
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
