its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize