You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
