Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize