new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
