i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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