I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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