anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
