I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
