If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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