sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
