I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
