i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
