bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
