is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
