You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
