You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
