We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
