kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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