the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
