He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
