This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize