I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
