me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
