hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
