Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
