i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
