it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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