you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
