You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
