I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
