Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
