filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize