then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
