I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize