We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
