careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
So here I am, sexting at work.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
