you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
