I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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