Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
