Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Duck Duck Cougar?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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