i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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