The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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