Your mouth is God's brothel.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
