Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
