I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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