...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
