I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
