And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize