never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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