Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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