I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
