Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
