May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
