Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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