Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
