I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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